Why to What Now (Maci Stowe)

I can't even tell you how many times I have questioned "why" in the last 10 months. My family has endured so much loss and heartbreak during this time—emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. Why so much pain? Why is it so hard? Why is XYZ not happening for us? Why are we still stuck in this valley?

On August 15th, I found out that the baby we had prayed for and were so happy to be expecting no longer had a heartbeat. A few days later I miscarried my sweet baby. My questions then became constant. I needed to know why we experienced this kind of loss. Why did my body fail to protect my baby? Was it something I ate or didn’t eat? Did I not rest enough? Am I not a good enough mother? Is God punishing me? Why, God? Why is this happening!

Here are some things I have learned in the past few weeks that have helped quiet my mind and heart:

• My circumstances/loss are not a consequence of sin.

"He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth." —1 Peter 2:22

Jesus was literally perfect, yet He suffered. Unfortunately, in this broken world, we will all suffer.

• Prayer is just a conversation with God—and sometimes it’s not pretty.

The Bible gives us countless times of people boldly bringing their worries and sorrows to God. For me, none is more profound than Matthew 27:46: "About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, ‘Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?’ (which means, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’)" Even Jesus felt abandoned. Do you feel abandoned in the season you are walking through? Are you praying through the constant flow of tears, asking, “Where are you, God?” When Jesus felt this way, He cried out to our Heavenly Father. He asked the question we’ve all thought or asked at some point: Why me?

• Asking “why” is not a sin.

Tell God you are mad, sad, or filled with anger. He can handle our emotions. He can handle our humanity. He is a good, good Father, and He will get in the trenches and sit with you. The hard truth is that God may not answer our “whys” in the way we want—or even at all while we are here on earth.

• Instead of asking “why,” I am now trying to ask, “What now, God?”

How can I use this to show Jesus to people? How can I use this to align myself more with Christ? How can I use this to glorify Him?

I have found that cherishing my blessings, surrounding myself with Jesus-filled women, searching for God in the little things, and surrendering to His will are all part of my “what now.” The peace and strength God has given me are indescribable, and the only thing I had to do was call on Him. I am not meant to carry my burdens alone.

We live in a broken world, but God promises to take hold of our broken hearts and be our strength and peace. What an honor it is to praise God even when we 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙞𝙩. What an honor it is that God is in the midist of our 𝙨𝙪𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜.

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Hi! My name is Maci Stowe. I am 27 years old. I am married to my best friend, Jake. We have 2 boys, Asher and Zander. I am a stay at home mama but stay super busy with my tshirt business(A+Z Designs). This is my first time publicly sharing on a blog. I am thankful for the opportunity to share what God has laid on my heart! I'm so thankful for the grace and hope He gives us. I see His goodness all over my life.