God, I'm Tired (Kinley Keenum)

(God, I’m tired. But still showing up.)

God, I’m tired.

Not just “I need a nap” tired… but deep, in-my-bones tired. The kind that lingers no matter how much sleep I get or don’t get. The kind that shows up in the quiet moments, when everything slows down and I realize just how much I’ve been carrying.

I’m tired of the constant thinking.

The planning.

The worrying.

The wondering if I’m doing enough, being enough, holding it all together the way I’m supposed to.

Some days feel like a blur of bottles, cries, schedules, and trying to catch my breath in between. I give and give and give, and then wonder why there’s so little left of me at the end of the day.

And then I look at her—my sweet girl.

Lorelai.

The way she looks at me like I’m her whole world, like I’m exactly what she needs. She doesn’t see the exhaustion or the doubt. She just sees her mama. And somehow, that both humbles me and steadies me all at once.

And I look at him—my husband, my best friend.

The one who walks through this season with me, who carries what he can, who reminds me I’m not doing this alone even when it feels heavy. The way he loves us, the way he shows up, it reminds me what steady looks like when I feel anything but.

And yet… I’m still here.

Still showing up.

Still loving.

Still trying.

Still choosing to get up and do it all again, even when I feel like I have nothing left to give.

God, I don’t always feel strong.

Actually, most days I don’t.

But maybe strength doesn’t look like I thought it would.

Maybe strength is showing up when I’m exhausted.

Maybe it’s choosing patience when I feel stretched thin.

Maybe it’s loving deeply, even when I’m running on empty.

Because this season…it’s beautiful, but it’s hard.

It’s full of joy and pressure and gratitude and overwhelm all at once.

And sometimes I don’t know how to hold all of that at the same time.

But You do.

So here I am, God.

Tired… but present.

Worn down… but willing.

Uncertain… but trusting You anyway.

When I am afraid, I will trust in You. (Psalm 56:3)

I may not have endless energy.

I may not have it all together.

But I have a heart that keeps showing up and maybe, right now, that’s enough.

So I’ll keep going.

Not perfectly.

Not effortlessly.

But faithfully.

Because even in my exhaustion…

I am still becoming the woman, the mother, the wife You’ve called me to be.

And tomorrow, if I wake up tired again

I’ll still show up.