To Mother a Daughter

It’s hard to believe that I have been a mom for almost eight years now. I, as many other parents do, feel like I get it wrong far more than I get it right. I mess up. I fail and my children see every side of me but since they see the worst, they also see the best. A couple of weeks ago I shared about mothering a son and I will forever say how thankful I am that God made me the mother of a girl then a boy. I get to have my baby boy and my bestie girl forever. 

Parenting is anything but easy. I am reminded of that truth constantly as I try my best to raise passionate followers of Jesus. It’s a constant state of love, joy in the hard, grace and forgiveness. Parenting is a humbling adventure that shows us the biggest glimpse of God’s love for us. It’s crazy to think that as much as I love my children, He loves them more. I get to steward these babies for Him and the purpose He has given to bring glory to His Name. It isn’t easy but it’s sanctifying. I am learning and growing daily as I get to walk in the gift of parenthood. 

Oftentimes people give the stereotype that mothering a daughter is horrible - just downright dreadful honestly. Who would want to deal with the attitude, sass and mood swings. In all honesty, I always wanted to have a daughter. I always wanted to be a girl mom and do the girl things. Is it hard? Yes. Do the mood swings, sassy moments and full attitude make it harder at times? Yes. Does it make me cry sometimes? …yes. But what makes me sad is how you don’t hear about how daughters help make sure families still get together. You don’t hear about how daughters get to see the heroes of the man you married. You don’t hear about how you create a friendship with the most amazing best friend. To mother a daughter is to love on the very best friend you could ever have and to thank God every day that you get to see true relationships through her. It’s to experience grace and forgiveness in the most raw form that is so beautiful. It’s to love every part of her even though she has parts of you that you don’t love yourself. 

Here are some prayers that I pray over my daughter and yes, some are the same as I pray for my son but they are adapted to fit her more since she is older. 

Thank You for her. 

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127‬:‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

My daughter got the eighteen-year-old mom that was really still a kid herself. The mom I am today isn’t the mom I was when I had her but also the mom she had before I had her brother. I know so many mamas say the same thing but I know that it is very evident in my life. I grew up with my daughter and while that was really hard, it made me into the woman I am today. The story of how my daughter came to be here is not a big fairytale story but it is a redemptive story. I truly believe God allowed her to be born to save my life. She is one of the best parts of me. I tell my babies all the time that I am so glad God made me their mama. Yes, I am thankful He gave them to me but I am more thankful God gave me to them. I pray they always know that I see them as a gift from God and that He could have chosen anyone to be their mama but He chose ME! For a long time I didn’t understand why God gave me to her. She deserved a much better mama and it’s sad to admit but I lived that way for a while as well. Now, more than ever though, I see why He chose me. He knew what He was, is and would do. I am just so thankful I get to have a front row seat to her life. 

Let her see You in me. 

“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I fall short - daily. I try to show them Jesus but mostly, I pray that through my mess they see Jesus. My kids see every side of me and I just pray that they see attributes of God within. I cannot and will not be perfect. I haven't been a mom long and either way, I'm still learning. I'll always be learning. I need His grace to cover every bit of me. I need His power to shine through me - even when I'm doing “good.” I tell my kids all the time that this is my first time being a mama just like this is their first time being the kids that they are. While we can’t excuse everything, grace has to be given. Forgiveness must be evident. 

Let her find her relationship, purpose and passion for You. 

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22‬:‭6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Above all, I want my daughter to find the Lord. I want her to have a relationship with God because she chooses to. As she is getting older she is becoming more curious but also confident in God. She does worship and pray as she sees my husband and I do but she also does it because she is passionate for the Lord as well. I am raising her up to know about the Lord but I pray that she truly KNOWS God himself. After she knows the Lord, I pray that she sees where the Lord is leading her. I know that I have big dreams and desires for my children. I know that I pray they stay close by as they grow older and pursue the path that the Lord has before them but ultimately, they are HIS first and I have to trust that I have done the work in these years to let them go out into the world to change it for HIM. I never want my selfish prayers to stop the passion the Lord has placed within her spirit. 

Let her find a man that loves you first and loves her next. 

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4‬:‭9‬-‭12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I think (most) Christian parents pray for their child's future spouse.  I pray she loves God so much that it overflows in the marriage they share. I pray that she is a Proverbs 31 woman but in a way that is exemplifying Christ and not a standard that she feels like she should reach. I pray that she lets him lead her as he is led by Christ and they have a foundation on the Rock. I can't wait to see what God has in store for my daughter, her future husband and my future grand babies!  

Mamas, when we mother a daughter, we are raising the future caregivers of the world. We are raising the nurturers of the world. One day they will have their own family and/or mentor girls growing. Our job is not something to take lightly - it is something to press into. So let’s press in and keep working because this is sanctifying work. It’s a work that I truly can’t wait to see the harvest from.