Fear Hope and Beauty from Ashes (Makaya Parris)

I’m Makaya Parris—first and foremost, a daughter of Jesus, wife to Nathaniel, and proud dog mom. As an LMSW and school counselor, I’m passionate about guiding and supporting others. I find joy in cooking, traveling, hiking, and savoring a good iced coffee. My life is a testament to the beauty God creates from ashes, and I strive to reflect His grace in all that I do.

Fear, Hope, and Beauty from Ashes

Fear and hope—two words that seem to contradict each other, yet so often, we find ourselves caught between them. Life brings seasons where fear tries to take root, even as we hold on to hope. If left unchecked, fear can spiral, pulling us into darkness. And while Scripture tells us time and time again, “Do not fear” (Isaiah 41:10, Joshua 1:9), the reality is that, in our human nature, we sometimes do. Fear is an uncomfortable, unwelcome emotion—one that can paralyze us if we let it. But while fear may come, we are not called to stay there.

Hope and faith must be our response. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). They go hand in hand. Even when it’s difficult to hold on, even when circumstances seem to contradict the promises we’re believing for, hope and faith are our lifeline. It is in those moments that we must lean on the strength of the Lord rather than our own. When fear whispers, “What if?” we must choose to say, “Even if.” Even if things don’t go as we planned. Even if the outcome is not what we prayed for. Even if everything falls apart—God remains faithful. “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).

A few years ago, almost to the day, my first husband left me. It was one of the darkest seasons of my life. I remember how fear and hope coexisted—fear of the unknown, fear of what was to come, yet hope that somehow God could restore. I spent a year in tears, a year in darkness, praying relentlessly for God to intervene. I pleaded for confirmation, for restoration, for things to be made new. But instead, the situation grew darker. More pain. More distance. More brokenness.

I sought counseling—both professional and biblical. I had people around me who encouraged me, not necessarily with hope for restoration, but with hope in who God is. Hope that even when life doesn’t go as planned, God still has a plan. Hope that, as Romans 8:28 declares, “He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” It was hope that Jesus could take the ashes of my broken heart and make something beautiful out of them (Isaiah 61:3).

Eventually, light began to break through. The divorce was finalized. I mourned. I wept. I questioned. I blamed myself. But God.

Over a year after my husband left, a sweet man messaged me after I posted something lighthearted on Facebook. That small interaction led to talking, then texting, and then an invitation to a date. At first, I declined. I wasn’t sure if I could open my heart again. But with encouragement from my mom and grandmother, I went. And it was refreshing. It was a glimpse of hope—but also fear. Could I allow myself to love again? Was I ready?

Healing was still happening, but I truly believe the Lord brought my now-husband into my life as part of that healing. He walked with me patiently, showing me what it meant to be loved in a way I had never known before—gently, safely, unconditionally. “He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

We got married, and now we’re walking through a new season—one of trying to conceive. There are still moments when fear tries to creep in. But fear no longer has a hold on me, because God is on the throne. I trust His timing, His plan, and His faithfulness.

Looking back, I can see the miracle in my story. A friend once told me, knowing the brokenness I had been in, that my transformation was nothing short of the Lord’s touch. That is His goodness. Nothing about life is cookie-cutter. Sometimes things don’t go the way we wanted or imagined. But if we allow God in, He heals. He restores. He redeems. And no matter what happens, we can rest in this unshakable truth: “The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him. The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him” (Lamentations 3:24-25).

So if you find yourself in that space between fear and hope, remember: You are His daughter. He has you in His hands. And He is always faithful.