My Suffering for My Good (Tess Cox

Hebrews 12  

I looked down at the test and saw “Pregnant.” Overjoyed and a little nervous, I picked up my freshly turned one-year-old baby girl and sat my husband down to tell him the news. We knew having 2 under age 2 would be hard, but we were so excited for this new addition to our family. We had conversations about childcare and car seats and started thinking about how we would fit two cribs into one bedroom. I scheduled a doctor’s appointment, picked up my prenatal vitamins, and ordered a “Big Sister” t-shirt for my daughter but unfortunately, it all ended as quickly as it began. Joyful tears on Tuesday turned into heartbreaking tears on Friday when we found out it was only a false positive and we actually wouldn’t be adding a new little one to our family quite so soon. 

Pain turned into anger and anger into grief and the grief turned into questioning why God would even let us go through something like this. What’s the point? If God has all foreknowledge and he knew that we wouldn’t be having this child, then why would he let me see that positive test? He knew how excited we were to grow our family and how much pain the loss of that hope would bring to us. So why would he allow me to walk through this? It didn’t make sense until I picked up my Bible and, by his grace, read through

Hebrews 12:6-11 

My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, 

nor be weary when reproved by him. 

For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, 

 and chastises every son whom he receives. 

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

Or as the NIV translates verse 7 

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?” 

Christian discipline was something that I once viewed only as a result of sin. For example, if I don’t read my Bible and pray, God withholds himself from me as a form of discipline. Or, if I didn’t give money to the poor when I had an opportunity, God would withhold monetary blessings from me. I do think it’s important to know that God can and does discipline us according to our condition in sin, but there’s also a different way that God disciplines us; He disciplines us according to our suffering. This text shows us that truth by pointing us to Jesus (12:1-3) who endured suffering but obviously was not being disciplined for his sin. The discipline or suffering in the context that the Hebrew readers were facing was imprisonment, slander, and the stealing of their possessions (10:32-34) - All hard things but if we believe that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, then we should believe that God has a glorious purpose in each affliction they faced. Yes, sometimes God disciplines us as a punishment for our si but sometimes God uses evil in the world to discipline us for training in righteousness (12:11). Thomas Schreiner writes in his Hebrews commentary regarding these verses: “Not all discipline is due to sin, but some discipline is given to wean believers away from sin. It is part of the training God has planned for his children so they grow in righteousness. They should consider its purposes and benefits. Nor should they  discouraged or ”grow weary” when they are reproved by God. Here the author picks up his admonition from verse 3 where he calls the readers to consider the opposition Jesus received so they won’t “lose heart”. The difficult circumstances in which they themselves could exhaust and enervate them, but, as the author explains here, they should draw the opposite conclusion. Their sufferings signify that they truly belong to God, that they are his sons, and that they are deeply loved by God.” 

As a Mother wondering why God would allow me to walk through my suffering, these verses have been an anchor for my weary soul. God does not find enjoyment in  suffering. He did not withhold the blessing of a child from me out of his anger and wrath. The reality is this: our world is sinful and broken and infertility and infant loss are ever present in a sinful and broken world. But the good news of the gospel is that Jesus Christ, the founder and perfecter of our faith, endured suffering so that I may not grow weary or fainthearted (12:2-3). God uses my suffering to teach me a greater righteousness and ultimately for my good. Of course, it doesn’t feel that way. The text even says that all discipline feels painful in the moment but that “later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (12:11). So, I am believing that God will use this suffering for my good - that when I have no ability to rely on my own strength, He will supply me with His - that His power would be made perfect in my weakness - that when the days are long filled with pain, His grace would  sufficient for me - and that this suffering allowed by God would train me to constan drink from His well of mercy which never runs dry. 

Whatever your suffering may be, my plea for you is this: Lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed (12:12). There is purpose in your suffering. You are being trained by God and He is surely at work in your heart. And you will one day reap the reward of your faith in fiery trials, that is namely the reward  Jesus Christ himself.